Got a visit from an OLD friend today out of the blue. MY seminary buddy Brad Smith just happened to be passing through. He stopped by and we did a little catching up. Made me think of my seminary days in New Orleans and all the great friends I made. I still feel their influence today, even though I haven’t been in the same room with them for 20 years or more. It reminded me of a Proverb of Solomon. Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.
For as long as I've been in ministry, no wait, as long as I've been a Christian, I have heard people ask the question “Why do I need to go to church?”. I've heard people list any number of other things that bring more personal satisfaction and create a more worshipful attitude than sitting in Sunday School and Church on Sunday. I get it. When I was a kid I didn't care much for anything green. I wouldn't touch collard or turnip greens. I loathed green beans. Don't even mention spinach, brussel sprouts, or asparagus to 8 year old Todd Dean. I don't know when things changed, but they definitely did. I don't think I suddenly began to feel compelled toward healthier eating by my conscience. I get guilt over what I eat, I do not eat things because I feel guilty if I skip them. It's a matter of taste. My tastes changed. The fact remains that the health benefits of those foods is well documented. Nutritional facts didn't make it happen. It was relationships with people that drew those healthy foods into my regular habit and eventually they became part of the joy of eating. I don't remember how old I was, but I remember going to a friends house to eat. Her Mom (Faye Duke Wilson) made green beans. We sat down to eat and I saw the green beans from across the table. I panicked. “I hate green beans” I thought to myself. Immediately I could here my Mother's voice in my head, “Don't be rude. If you are offered something, take it and get it down anyway you can!” I thought to myself, “I just won't get any. Problem solved.” Mrs. Faye immediately said “Todd, would you like some green beans?” I don't know if Mom had been talking to her, but it sure felt like I had been suckered. I grinned and said “yes ma'am.” She served me up a nice helping. Everything else I saw seemed like my kind of food, but my dread of those blasted beans seriously undermined my ability to enjoy the rest. I said to myself, “There's no help for it Todd. Your napkin isn't big enough to hide them in. Just eat them first and get it over with.” So I tucked in. Guess what? Those green beans were amazing! They were seasoned to perfection and just the right texture. My life was changed.
We had a pastor growing up. He was the essence of cool young preacher guy. He took us to play golf. He went with us to youth camp. He was an adult (sort of) but not like most of the adults I knew. I wanted to be like him. We all did. He had one significant flaw. He loved turnip greens. The little old ladies at church would all make turnip greens for pot luck, hoping he would pick theirs. One week he talked me into trying them. My life was changed.
I got married in 2001. I had lived 31 years of my life never having once touched a brussel sprout. Along with my children and her own brand of furious love and faithfulness, my sweet wife Cecelia brought me an appreciation for brussel sprouts. Love of my life, love of my kids and love for brussel sprouts (properly prepared), that's just a sampling of what that relationship has brought me.
I can hear you now. “I thought you were going to talk about why we ought to go to church? What's that got to do with green vegetables?” The stories above were about more than vegetables. They were loving odes to the people that have influenced me in a healthy way. Were it not for them, I'd probably still be eating nothing but corn and potatoes and not much else. The people and relationships that we surround ourselves with shape us in a million ways we never notice. We pick up habits and attitudes like cheap suits pick up lint. The quality of the people you surround yourself with makes a huge difference in your life. No, I'm not saying that there are no quality people outside the church. Nor am I saying that everybody in or attending church regularly is a good person. The Bible tells us that actions reveal the heart of any person. It's as plain as the nose on their face. Going to church does increase the likelihood that some of your relationships will be with people who are under the influence of the Bible and God's transforming message and love. That's why Solomon said and had this phrase preserved in scripture. “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” The concern is two fold here in my opinion. To sharpen something makes it better, a more useful tool. People are sharpened by the people they are in association with. It is impossible for a person of questionable character to sharpen you for good works. What they will make you better at are the things they are inclined to. Let that sink in. The more time you spend with an individual the more you are influenced by them and ultimately become like them. Do you want to be like the people with whom you currently associate? Take it to heart. The second concern is to have no relationships and not be sharpened at all. I recently heard a prolific woodsman say “A dull ax is worse than useless. It's dangerous.” We need to be in relationships that call us to be something better than we are. Not every person attending church is such a person but you can definitely find some there that fit that description.
As a kid, I remember my mom constantly saying “eat your vegetables”. This is kind of like the law. Being told to do something immediately cuts the joy of that thing in half, but we rarely need to be told to do things that make us happy. We gravitate to that stuff. We often need to be urged toward things that are healthy. Unless that urging is consistent we probably won't persist. But if we persist in a healthy habit at the urging of someone that we admire/respect/love, then we become grateful for not only the habit that we added to our lives, but the relationship that was its inspiration. A relationship that makes you better is a special thing. It is one of the sweetest gifts of God this side of heaven. SO – the Bible says “ And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.” Hebrews 10:25 (NLT). Those are vegetables straight from your Father's table. If you are reading this, we are probably friends and I probably love you. Come see me at church and help me be better. I might be able to help you with something you’re struggling with. Together, we can be better than we are. We can be more useful to our Father. See you at church!